Dear Friends,
If I can say one thing, it is that adding a daily discipline - other than the habits I'm used to - is hard! No surprise, there, but that's the short explanation of why I didn't do MWAH every day this month. Additionally, it's extra hard if it has you thinking about and confronting complicated and uncomfortable emotions... Motivation has been something I've struggled with, anyway. However, I'm glad I did even just the ones I did, since for me this is not just about my own healing and mental health, but is also a way that I can parent Charlie, too.
To wrap up the month, I'll recap the ones I did (essentially the first 7, give or take), with some notes about the inspirations and influences that inspired them. None of these are meant to represent finished pieces of art: they are, instead, pieces of thought, pieces of emotions, being processed visually and tactilely.
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| Prompt: Sunrise. This is probably one of the more obvious inspirations. You may notice that the question in the middle has been changed, slightly, to reflect my experience. |
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| Prompt: Beginnings. My inspiration here is biblical. "in the beginning God created..." "without form and void" "in the beginning was the Word" (this is primarily from Genesis and from the Gospel of John). Charlie's grave is on here, which is PART of God's creation, Charlie and Charlie's grave. |
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| Prompt: Anxiety. To me, this can be what anxiety feels like. I was going to add more lightning, in reds and oranges, from the sides, with more questions and critiques, but ran short of time and energy that evening. |
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| Prompt: Grace. I was stumped on this one for a long time, because I find it hard to find positive things about Charlie's death, except for Charlie himself, and while granting myself grace/forgiveness is something I work on, it is harder to put into a visual form... But I do find that a piece of God's Grace came down when Charlie was baptized into the family of God, and I felt connection with the many other baptisms I have participated in or witnessed. |
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| Prompt: Mother. This prompt came up, apropos, on Mother's Day. I got frustrated at how much marketing is done at the "traditional" "normal" mother - one in a 2 parent household, with 2.5 children, all biological, conceived and born with no issues at all, of course. |
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| Prompt: Name. Probably obvious, this is my son's name! The tiger stripes are because he kicked a lot and we nicknamed him "our little Tigger", which stuck, and now tigers and tiger cubs, in general, represent him for us. Peacock is a family name. |
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| This is not from a prompt, but from a small Facebook support group I'm in. I offered to include names of the babies in the group in a drawing. Charlie is on here too, upper right. |
Yours,
Sarah
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