Wednesday, October 18, 2017

In the Right Place, At the Right Time

...Or, Why I Take Pookie With Me To Public Places

There are many reasons I take Pookie with me, the primary one being that I feel like I need a little one to hold, and/or the comfort of a stuffed toy. I'll sometimes take him just for company, but usually it's because I'm going somewhere that I expect to be confronted with topics that make me emotional or will at least bring sensitive topics to mind. And sometimes I just take him because it might be fun, or because I want Charlie represented.

The other night, however, we saw first-hand another reason, one that is actually just as important, and that I hadn't thought of. My husband and I were at a lecture by a vibrant pastor/theologian (Nadia Bolz-Weber, if you are interested), and while the point of the talk was not related to any usual triggers, I thought I might be better off if I had someone to hold, just in case.

(Click here for a link to a great podcast interview with Nadia Bolz-Weber)

As we came in, we saw the people we were planning to sit with, and found our seats. We were a little early, since we knew there was no assigned seating, and we also knew it was a sold out house! On the other side of us from our friends was an older lady. After Hubby got up to use the restroom, she turned to me and asked "What's the story of the bear?". I thought that was a nice way to ask about him, for sure! I told her that he represented our son Charlie, who died last year, and that the bear was weighted the same as our child... and so on. We ended up having a lovely conversation. One of her close relatives had recently miscarried, and so I was able to share our story, commiserate, talk about grieving relatives, and share resources.

At the end of the talk, Nadia Bolz-Weber gave a blessing that included, among many other things, mothers who had miscarried their babies, and death of loved ones, and several other items that hit close to my heart. By the end of the blessing I was weeping quietly on Pookie's head, holding him close and holding Hubby's hand.

The grandmother we had met - and the relative who had lost a child - thanked us afterward for sharing our story, resources, and our experience.

We shared our story because we feel - and we have experienced - that hearing that we are not alone on the journey of infant loss can be very comforting. We shared resources, because we want to use our tragedy to help others in any way we can. But most of all, we shared our experience. We all knew that our hearts were aching, each, individually, alone. But to share with someone who you feel will not judge you for it, I feel, lightens the ache ever so slightly. I hope that it did for that young mother and grandmother.

Pookie has a new mission. New job? Ambassador. Spokesman. He seems willing, and happy to share Charlie with the world.

Love to everyone whose heart aches.

Most sincerely yours,
~ Sarah

Infant loss resource document: www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Saturday, October 14, 2017

October


Friends,

October means a lot to many of those in the baby loss community, whether or not any personally significant dates for that family occur in this month.

October is infant loss awareness month, with the 15th being "remembrance day". So, there are more events, ceremonies, walks, etc. in October than most months. In fact, many hospitals host remembrance ceremonies where they read out names.

Did you know that about 1 of every 4 pregnancies will not result in a living child? And that about 1 of every 25 pregnancies will end in stillbirth?* That's a lot of affected families.

In fact, I'd like to invite you to participate in the "wave of light". At 7pm, in your own time zones, at your own locations, light a candle, or two or three, for babies that have died. Keep the candle lit for an hour. That way a wave of candle light will encircle the globe, remembering so many little ones who are loved and missed.

I know many families affected by this type of tragedy. My son is buried near 3 others who died before birth, I know of another handful not far off in the same cemetery, and that doesn't even include the specific section just for infants. 
 
If you know someone who has lost a pregnancy or very young child, has had a miscarriage, stillbirth, other fetal loss, SIDS death, NICU death, struggles with fertility, or any other way of losing their baby, please send them some love.

If you would like to do something more concrete, I know that many, but not all, families appreciate this. I, personally, love it when someone lets me know that they thought of Charlie. If you want ideas, I'm happy to chat with you. Also, remember that the fathers grieve too, and so do the child's grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings... The child was excitedly expected and looked forward to, and loved by many before they were born, and the same people love and miss the little ones... Each in their own way.

Lots of love this month,
~ Sarah

Infant loss resource document: www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

*These are commonly quoted statistics in the United States, referring to the United States. At some future point, I plan to have a have a post dedicated to understanding and being exact with statistics like these.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Museum of the Alphabet



On Monday, September 18th, my husband and I had the opportunity to visit The Museum of the Alphabet, outside of Charlotte, NC. In fact, we knew nothing about it before we got there, having found it by chance when looking for interesting museums to visit while we were in the area.
The museum is run by and associated with JAARS, ILS, and the Wycliffe Bible Institute. Essentially, the organization wants to be able to provide Christian Bibles to all peoples, and to do so, they sometimes have to help create alphabets and writing systems for languages that have heretofore been purely oral.
The museum appears to have been created to help educate the public about that last aspect of their work. Aside from a few instances where the museum leans biblical-literalist, the exhibits are fantastic and do a wonderful job of explaining how various cultures and individuals through the ages have invented or adapted ways of putting language into a written system. I had the impression that some of the staff's opinions were much more literalist, but the exhibits were fabulous.

The museum starts out with a short film, and then a staff member introduces an interesting steel sculpture of the tower of babel, representing how multiple languages formed on earth. This is the only exhibit where the display took the Bible completely literally; the remaining exhibits were based on language research and language history.

For instance, the lovely tree of written language evolution, shown here in a postcard I purchased from their little gift-nook (sorry the quality isn't high level. Wish I'd taken a picture myself. Basically, the top row is modern writing systems, and the branches show what was influenced by what other system or older form of the same system):



Once past that tree, the museum is divided into alcoves that each address a particular language or alphabet, and how their writing system came into existence and how it functions. There were also interactive portions, allowing you to answer questions, decode alphabets, or make sounds.

I was particularly fascinated by two exhibits, which I got permission to photograph:


This chart is a FABULOUS explanation of various things that affect the crazy English spelling! Each tree matches the color of the paragraph below, which explains the cause of that particular type of spelling change or effect on modern spelling, and the leaves give example words.


I also was fascinated by this one, explaining that Korean orthography is actually based on the physiology of sound production. I have not researched this myself, so I am dependent on the museum's research on this - but if this is true, this is awesome.

To return to my mention of Biblical influences, I would like to mention that each language exhibit has a Bible there, simply as an example of the orthography of that particular language. Given the purpose of the organization as a whole, I find this a completely reasonable example to have on hand.

The exhibit on Hebrew (the original form, not the modern form), posits that Moses himself came up with the alphabet when writing down the 10 commandments. Whether or not that is true, the concept that the ancient Hebrew alphabet came into existence in about that same era is still worth paying attention to.

Later exhibits focus more on the JAARS/SIL/Wycliffe work: since they are often working with languages that still have no written form. In these exhibits, there are examples of the linguistic work they do, which is fascinating to see! The linguists involved in this project learn the languages, try, at least in most cases, to find a writing system that will make sense with that language, and then also work on establishing and supporting literacy.

In all, this was a truly fascinating museum. It is small, but there is no entrance fee, and they do not accompany you on your tour, so you have as much time as you need and want to read all of the information - or to skip past it if you prefer!