Pookie's Roles

(Topic: weighted bears and how they can help with grieving, personal observations)

Hi Friends,

I've had Pookie featured on this blog a lot. If you're new, Pookie is the weighted bear we have, representing our stillborn son Charlie (Pookie's introduction is here, and Charlie's story is written out here). So you know, because I will reference it below, Pookie physically represents Charlie because he matches Charlie's weight (Pookie weighs 6 pounds 5.3 ounces), and coincidentally is also the same length as Charlie (18").

As you've probably noticed, I have a lot of pictures of Pookie out and about with me. The pictures of him are not just in my home or at Charlie's grave, but are also in public places such as parks, museums, or with family. I take Pookie to church, to visit family, and I sometimes choose to take him other places.

Today I want to take a minute to talk about why Pookie is with me a lot, and about how many different things Pookie does for us! He wears so many hats.

Silly Pookie! That's a Dad Joke!

Pookie is my son's avatar

"Avatar" means representative or placeholder or manifestation. So for us, Pookie is a physical way to represent Charlie, like if we're taking a family photo. It doesn't seem like Charlie is missing from the photo (at least not as much) if Pookie is in the picture. The same is true of family events: if Pookie is there, Charlie is represented and it feels like Charlie himself is "there" as part of the family. As I mentioned in the intro above, Pookie is not just a symbol we arbitrarily picked, but because of his weight, he uniquely represents our baby.

A brand new Pookie (as yet un-nicknamed) with a picture of Charlie, at the first Christmas.

Pookie is a "baby"

Because of Pookie's baby-like weight, he serves very physically as a way to fill empty arms. Especially early after Charlie died, my arms literally hurt or felt weird, because they weren't holding a baby and were supposed to be. (This is not an unusual issue to have, by the way. Having "aching" or empty-feeling arms is normal.) The size and weight of Pookie helps calm that feeling. Sometimes if I'm having a really bad day, I'll put on music and rock and bounce Pookie while I cry - because then it moves me into and through the emotion and I can be sad for a time, and still have part of the day where I don't feel bogged down by grief, rather than me bottling it up or just being cranky all day. (And because he is heavy like a baby, he's not as easy to carry or stuff into something like other teddies. This is why you'll sometimes see me use a sling or a baby carrier for him, or I'll carry him on my hip. It's simply more practical and makes my arm and shoulder hurt less - but it's also snuggly.)

Pookie and me snuggling during a hike.

A rougher day.

Pookie is a weighted blanket

If my grief-anxiety is bad, lying down with Pookie on my chest is extremely calming. His weight and pressure, like that of a weighted blanket or a thunder shirt, are calming and reassuring. I do my best to remember to pick him up if I'm feeling fretful or unhappy or cranky, and when I remember, it really helps. My husband knows that if I'm having a bad day, I won't always remember because I'm feeling bad and having trouble thinking, so sometimes he'll hand Pookie to me. Once Pookie is in my arms, I will remember what to do. Holding him is good, lying down with him snuggled on top of me is better.

Because it's not as photogenic to get the back of Pookie's head, and because I'm usually feeling really low at the time, I have no photos of Pookie actually being a weighted blanket bear for me.

This was a pause between weighted blanket sessions.

Pookie is a therapy dog

Similarly, Pookie serves like a therapy dog: when I am anxious in public or at a particular function that is very hard for me (such as an event that will have a lot of triggers), being able to hold him, stroke his fur, or cuddle him can keep me calmer and able to function in that environment, when I would otherwise be unable to participate or possibly even unable to be there at all. If I am having a hard day, having him with me can be the difference between leaving the house and getting things done, versus staying in bed all day and crying.

Exploring a city on my own can be nerve-wracking, so that was one time I decided to bring Pookie along (also, it was a fun adventure too!). This was on the USS Constitution (Old Ironsides) in Boston.

Pookie is a memory-maker

This is probably what you see the most on the blog. I take Pookie places, or we take Pookie places with us. We pose him, and we take pictures of him "doing" things. He has his own wardrobe of clothes, and we change him depending on the activity or where we're going. We do this because Charlie's death robbed us of Charlie's future. We had planned and hoped to do many things with Charlie as he grew up. We can't do any of them with him now. So doing things with Pookie as a stand-in means we are still making new Charlie-related memories, and getting new Charlie-related pictures, despite never having new memories of Charlie himself, or new pictures to share of Charlie growing and playing.

Many of the pictures I take are of our daily life, and texted to Daddy to cheer him up throughout the day. Here's Pookie helping with the groceries.

Watering Charlie's plants.

Pookie is a playful way to connect with each other

Have you ever seen an adult make a doll "talk" to a baby? We don't make Pookie have a voice of his own, but we do playact that he has opinions (always told to the other person in third person, like "Sweetie, Pookie says blueberries are the best"). We also make him wave, snuggle, hug, and sometimes mime things out. We do this in our imagination. We know that in physical reality, Pookie is a teddy bear. He is not alive, and does not have opinions. As adults, we are fully aware of this! We imagine with Pookie for fun, and it actually allows me and my husband to bond, too, and sometimes provides a way for us to tell each other things ("Pookie says mommy had a hard day, so he gave her lots of snuggles". Of course I could just say "I had a hard day and could use a hug". And sometimes I do! But using Pookie can be a more playful way to do it). Additionally, because we've been doing this for a while, and started being more consistent about some things, we've essentially created a character that we now have to be consistent to. For instance, the character of Pookie likes salmon (because bears eat that) and blueberries (again, bears eat them, but also because he's blue). The character makes dad jokes sometimes, usually when Daddy is helping him wave, pose, and tell things to Mommy! The character has a little bit of sass and backtalk, but always lovingly. And baseline, Pookie's physical presence is meant to be calming and snuggly, so his character is loving and open and accepting.

Lately, reading books to Pookie is one way we imagine-play with him. Here he is, waiting for us to be done brushing our teeth.

Pookie is an ambassador (ambearssador, according to daddy)

Because Pookie is out with us all the time, many people ask about him. Or at least, make comments that could be interpreted as interested! So I often end up explaining what Pookie is to other people, which often means that I also end up explaining how Charlie died, and what infant loss is, or is like, or how it happens, or how often it happens, etc. So Pookie is a conversation starter to help Stillbirth Awareness. If people are familiar with the idea that pregnancy and infant loss happens frequently, and  know that it is a problem, then people will research and try to reduce the problem, and there will actually be good support for people living through it. Also, if people know about the issue and about support for it, then more people like me will feel comfortable taking their support items in public, rather than getting isolated on grief days because they don't feel comfortable carrying their doll or bear (or whatever helps them) into a public space for fear of being judged. As someone who carries a teddy openly and publicly, though, I can say that people have never said anything rude to me about the bear to my face. Not even once.

Pookie helping with the groceries, being pretty obvious in public. He has his own business cards, too, to hand to people who aren't as comfortable asking questions. Pookie is even happy to let other people hold him, so they can understand how his weight feels!

Thank you for learning about Pookie! If you have any additional questions about the roles he plays in our life, I'd love to hear and see if I can explain!

Yours,

Sarah

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Resource list: Visit my spreadsheet at www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Thoughts about Easter

(Topics: Grief and Anxiety, mental health, Easter/Religion, cemeteries)

Hi Friends,

The other day, I spent the day with Charlie.

I have been feeling really, really sad and overwhelmed lately. Sometimes, when I'm feeling heavy, it's very hard for me to figure out why - and knowing why makes it easier for me to either live with the feelings, or to find something to do to help.

I felt like I've been having a harder time than usual staying steady when life threw me curve balls (as life always does, on smaller and larger scales). When my hubby also commented on that, I decided to call my therapist to see if I could get in for an extra session.

(Side note: there is NO SHAME in asking for extra help! I know it's hard. It's hard to know when to ask, and it's hard to ask. It can be hard to admit that you aren't able to do it all yourself. I encourage you to set up support systems so it's easier to ask for help. For instance, I have friends who I trust, who know my whole story and things I struggle with. I can easily vent to them, because I don't have to explain anything. But I also don't want to burden them - so I also have a therapist. Therapists are AMAZING, guys. If you try a therapist, and you don't feel comfortable, it's ok to go to a new one. FIND THE RIGHT FIT FOR YOU 💗💓. Once you find someone you like, the point is that they are trained to help and trained to listen - but they are OUTSIDE the situation. They won't get hurt feelings, and they won't get mad. They JUST HELP. And it's AMAZING 💕💓.)

I got an extra session to get help, because even things that seemed like they should be little were feeling big. My therapist is my outside perspective, and helps me find my rational brain but also helps me acknowledge my emotions.

In this session, she helped me identify stressors that were overwhelming me, or stressing me out, or triggering my grief - even when sometimes it was super subconscious.

I actually prepare a little for my sessions by taking notes on rough days, of what bothers me or big things that happen. This helps guide what we talk about and helps me feel like we use the time a little more effectively (this is not everyone's style - you do you!).

Above the line, notes to tell the therapist.
Below, notes written afterward, with some of what we talked about.

After we went through my list, I asked - WHY?? Why is everything so hard right now?? And she literally sat there and counted things off on her fingers, guys. Counted things back off to me, that I had told her about, but also helped me identify a few more things that had been in the background, that I had not yet seen clearly enough to name.

One was that, the last time we moved, it was not only right after Charlie died, it was literally because Charlie died. We had planned to wait to move until he was 3-6 months old before we moved. Instead, we were in our new place about a month after. So since we're moving sometime this summer, that might be a reason that packing and planning is so hard for me to work on.

One of the other things she pointed out is that Easter is - like Christmas - about a mother, but this time about the son dying. And coming back again...
Mary is a complicated figure for me. Really complicated.

So after we'd identified what some of the triggers were (there were about a half a dozen others, too....), we talked about how to find some relief. Some comfort, and a way through, through the sad and the pain, because the stress isn't as heavy when the sad isn't weighing me down.

The other day, I spent the day with Charlie.

The main solution she suggested was to let myself feel. To spend some time with Charlie, if I could, but to remember and feel and cry and just be, with my pain and sorrow, and weep if I need to.

The universe (God?) listened to my need. I had been worried that I couldn't find time, since it's a decent distance to Charlie's grave; and to sit and feel, I couldn't be rushed. But one of my scheduled items got cancelled, and suddenly I had a whole day ahead of me, to go to my little boy.

I spread out my blanket, and opened the umbrella to keep the sun off (and in case it rained), and I sat down with Charlie, and lay with him, and talked to him.

I told him how much I missed him and how much I wanted to hold him... and I wept.

Tears do cease, at some point. The pain behind my sternum, the pressure in my throat does ease, as though the tears wash out a tightness and release something.

I weeded his garden, and touched some of the decorations and memorials we have for him there.

And I lay with my chest over where he is buried. The closest I can come to holding him.

The other day, I spent the day with Charlie.

It means so much to me, to have a place to care for, that is just his, and his alone.

I have a complicated relationship with Mary, Jesus' mom. Her baby was born alive, which hurts at Christmas. She gets to see him grow up. But she suffers through his death. I imagine that she hurts inside, behind her sternum, so tight it hurts to breathe. I imagine she weeps so deeply she convulses in Joseph's arms. I imagine she knows this pain. But. He lives again. My Charlie doesn't yet.

Jesus died right before a Jewish holiday. That meant that his body had to be dealt with before the sun went down that Friday, and couldn't really be tended to properly until the Sabbath and the Passover was over. Joseph of Arimathea was the guy who put the body in the tomb in the right cloths. He made sure the basics were taken care of, that were important.

But women went to care for his body, to lay him to rest and to say their last goodbyes. Those are the women I watch, in this story. They prepare the ointments to rub on the body, to do the rites of burial and death from their culture, to make things right, as much as you can when someone dies. They go back after their holiday, to finish things.

We know who those women were, because they were the eyewitnesses that Jesus was gone (alive, risen, back).

I care who they were, because they were the grave tenders. The ones who would have placed the headstone and served the funeral lunch and planted flowers with his mom, if it were now.

The book of Matthew says it was Mary Magdalene and the other Mary. The book of Mark says it was women including Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joses, and Salome (so that was a pretty large group). The book of Luke says it was the women who had followed Jesus from Galilee, and also lists them as Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the other women. In the book of John it's only Mary Magdalene.

No matter who it was, they cared. They took the time to go, and planned to care intimately for his body, hands on. I wish so hard I'd been able to do more of the funeral care myself, for Charlie. This isn't something our culture is used to, anymore. And I did not know to ask for it, and I don't know if I would have wanted it at the time -- in hindsight, though, I miss caring for my little boy, giving him the final kiss in his coffin.

I saw a picture, last month. It was a mama and a papa, tucking their baby into his coffin, into his "forever crib". Seeing that, suddenly my heart longed for having done that for Charlie.
To care for a body, to minister to their last cares on earth, is an act of pure love. Of closure. Of peace within sorrow.

As I lay with Charlie, my breast filling the hollow in the earth beneath which he rests, I felt complete and yet bereft. Filling the hole in my heart, the gaping hole in my life with the closest thing I could.

The other day, I spent the day with Charlie. 

While I was there, I read a book to Charlie. We read to Pookie regularly, and it's a thing we can hold onto - one of the things we'd looked forward to, so much. So many other things were taken away, but that we can still do.

I also read a graphic memoir, called Rosalie Lightning, written by a father whose daughter died of SIDS. His experiences - his raw emotion - reading that while visiting Charlie -
He talked of how a loss parent's attention can be grabbed by other children of the right age, how we can stare, stare at what could have been.

Today is the day before Easter. The in-between. The waiting - for us, who know how the story ends. For those back then, the second day since. Counting life based on the life-changing moment. For me, two days ago was 2 years and 10 months. Since.

Charlie is nearly three. How do you plan a birthday party for the 3rd year since a death?

I'm always aware of how old he is/would be/would have been.

Today is the day before Easter as I write this, Saturday. Some churches hold a vigil, traditionally held from before midnight until after midnight, to celebrate the moment of Easter at the turning point of the night.

We went to an evening vigil service. When the priest was preaching about the Easter life, the Christian life, is to focus on LIFE not death - all I could think was, how intrusive is death. How hard, not to think of loss, even with the promise of life.

Right then, two 3-year-olds started to get restless and play.

My Charlie.

I should have been dealing with a restless Charlie.

Every day, I spend the day with Charlie.

No matter what, he's on my mind. This is a holiday (holy day) about life, promise of life, promise of future life, power over death.

My son is dead.

My religion gives promise, hope.

But everyday, my son is not in my arms.

My son is on my mind. My son is in my heart. Everyday, he is with me. I'm the one staring at your son, thinking of what my son might have said, might have done, and hurting.

I'm the one rocking a teddy bear, because my baby is dead.

I understand the hope with my head, but not yet with my heart. I have to take any tiny bit that my heart can understand.

To the lady who passed the peace to my bear, please know that in my heart, you passed the peace to my son. Thank you. I may cry, but my heart is lighter.

💛

Yours,

Sarah

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Resource list: Visit my spreadsheet at www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Visiting Charlie in January

(Topic: visiting grave)

Hi Friends,

I'd like to share with you a little bit about visiting Charlie. At the moment, we live about 45 minutes away from where he's buried. Pretty soon we're going to be more like 2 hrs and 15 minutes away...

This means that we visit Charlie whenever it makes sense to go in that direction. I rarely drive there just to visit Charlie and nothing else (it feels a bit far for that) but if I am doing anything else in that direction, I'll make time if at all possible.

This means that I end up going in all sorts of weather! And that I keep certain things in the car for those visits, too.

Generally in the car I have:

• a plastic ground cloth (for under the picnic blanket if the ground is damp)
• a picnic blanket
• a camp chair, for when I'm going to sit and visit for a while
• a bucket, in which I keep:
• gardening gloves
• sometimes a hand cultivator (for stubborn weeds)
• any decorations or cards that I want to leave with Charlie next time I go

I also always have (for Pookie):

• a sling
• an Ergo carrier

This means that I just have to be dressed for the weather and have appropriate footwear, and it's easy to visit! Hubby comes along whenever he can, but so often I'm there on a weekday, so he's busy. That means that I pass along his love to Charlie, but also means I take a lot of pictures to send to Daddy at work! We take far fewer pictures when we're both there :)

In January, it had been a while since I'd visited, and weather had been iffy, so when I finally got a chance to visit, I jumped at it! I geared up, though, and knew I wouldn't be able to hang out long without freezing.

Pookie in a sling, so my hands are more free. I'm bundled up! That's the river behind us, that flows scenically along the low edge of the cemetery.

Goodness. We got a lot of snow! This visit was on January 11th.

Peek-a-Pook!

There's even a snow hat on Charlie's stone!!

You can just see the pine "grave pillow" peeking out from under the flag! Even the dragonfly has a little snow hat!

Butterfly has a snow burden... This is a "Charlie Butterfly" to us, since Charlie is our little Tigger/tiger, we now call monarchs and other orange-and-black butterflies "Charlie butterflies" since they make us think of him!

Yours,

Sarah

To subscribe, find the "subscribe by email" note in the left column and enter your email there. Links to posts will be emailed directly to you whenever I post them! Nothing else gets emailed.

Resource list: Visit my spreadsheet at www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Blueberry BlueBear!

(Topic: Pookie, Food)

Hi Friends!

Often, Pookie comes along with us to restaurants and diners, and at home he most often sits on the kitchen counter. Since he's often within range when food is a topic, we have Pookie express interests, too, for fun! I've also mentioned that Pookie and I walk at a local bog park sometimes, too.

All of this ties together today!

You see, bears like to eat blueberries. Blueberries grow in the bog, so that is "Pookie's favorite park". It also means that we say that it is Pookie's favorite food, and he always yearns for them! His nibbles are so tiny we can't see them, which is why mommy and daddy usually have to finish his blueberry foods!

I also find it fun, because not only do real bears like blueberries, but it's also a parallel: A BlueBear likes BlueBerries!

A new diner we tried. Pookie excitedly noted that there are actually blueberry pancakes on the menu!

Hooray!!

I tried a new energy bar (which, by the way, I didn't end up loving too much). Pookie confiscated this flavor! You can't see the part of the label where it says the flavor, but the color might help you guess...

Do I really believe Pookie eats? Of course not. He's a stuffed animal, and it's imaginary. But play-acting this gives us something to do together, and a way to form new memories (since we can't directly form new ones with Charlie), and - let's face it - it's fun!

Yours,

Sarah

To subscribe, find the "subscribe by email" note in the left column and enter your email there. Links to posts will be emailed directly to you whenever I post them! Nothing else gets emailed.

Resource list: Visit my spreadsheet at www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Scottish Pookie

(Topic: sewing, crafts, weighted bear)

Hi Friends!

Remember a few weeks ago, when I knitted a hat for Pookie? One of the things hubby noticed was that Pookie's hat, when set on top of his head, looks like a tam. Hubby joked that Pookie would start borrowing daddy's bagpipes! Well, you know me: this put a flea in my ear, and I started planning...

The beginnings.

 After much thought and tinkering, I came up with the beginnings of the pipes! A plaid bag (cut from an old flannel shirt) and some dowels from the craft store. They are stained using sharpie and then sprayed with an art sealant. I wrapped the base of each pipe with more fabric, glued on, so that it would not pull through the bag once inserted. I shaped the mouth piece and drew fingering dots on the chanter part. The holes were made using a large knitting needle, wielded as a sort of bodkin for creating a mostly not-cut hole for the pipe to exit through. And the whole thing is stuffed with polyfill, since Pookie can't fill up a bag with breath, so it needed stability!

Finished pipes!

Oh wait, where's that tam that started it all?

 At this point I had started to think that he needed a full outfit. All of this was made in secret from the hubby, who I was intending to surprise, but I had several friends in on it, and they all concurred that he needed a kilt. So I went back to the old flannel shirt, and started cutting out as many rectangles as I could, given what was left of the shirt! I also salvaged the buttons (most of which are now in my button box) and one of the plackets that had been concealing the button holes - it might make a good waistband, with less work on my part.

I sewed the rectangles end to end, matching up the woven plaid. This gave me a long strip, that I sewed into a large (but short) tube. I hemmed one side of the tube, and then pleated the other side. I re-pleated 3 times to get it to fit the waistband length properly and to have the pleats line up with the plaid stripes the way I wanted!

On the ironing board.You can see the back opening on the other side of the board, and all the pins holding the pleats in place as I iron. I left them in place until I had the waistband attached, then also did a second line of stitching about a half inch lower to hold the pleats in place to look more tidy on Pookie.

Front waistband and pleating detail.

Back closure detail.

Oh, and I threw a sash together, too. Why not? That's one of mommy's brooches, borrowed as a sash pin. He's got his dance shoes on - they were meant to be formal wear but the fabric was too thin, so there will be another pair of black shoes coming at some point.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...

(side/back view: note the one taller pipe, like on real bagpipes)

Ready to surprise daddy!

The whole ensemble was a success, surprising and delighting daddy when he came home from a trip! Pookie is now ready for any Scottish celebrations, and can't wait to find out if blueberry shortbread exists!


Yours,

Sarah

To subscribe, find the "subscribe by email" note in the left column and enter your email there. Links to posts will be emailed directly to you whenever I post them! Nothing else gets emailed.

Resource list: Visit my spreadsheet at www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Sophia's Wings walk/fundraiser

(Topic: Memorial walks for infant loss)

Hi Friends,

This is about something that happened last fall, that for some reason I hadn't gotten around to writing about.

In October, which is PAIL awareness month (Pregnancy And Infant Loss), many organizations hold memorial services or memorial walks, and occasionally fundraisers (and sometimes the walks have minor registration fees that help continue the work of that organization).

One of the organizations that held a memorial we were able to attend was Sophia's Wings. This wonderful organization, "Offering free grief counseling to families suffering the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, or neonatal death." They only have limited availability at this point, because their service is so wonderful! And, sadly, because many people are in the circumstances of experiencing pregnancy or infant loss, and getting therapy can be a big help in learning to live with grief. Here's the Sophia's Wings Facebook Page (Hubby and Pookie and I are currently featured on their cover photo as I write this!).

The walk they held began in a fieldhouse along the track, and also had activities, such as making an ornament for the Sophia's Wings office, and an area where children could build things with their parents after the event. The whole thing started off with a moving ceremony, with a keynote speaker movingly sharing their loss story, and music. Then everyone walked around the track, and those who wished could walk around the neighborhood on a course.

The ornament I made for Charlie.

Here's a picture of Charlie's ornament hanging in their office: Memorial Tree.

Pookie sitting next to the memorial luminary with Charlie's name.

Leah Vonne was photographing the event, and this photo by her is one of only a handful of our family, and means so much to us. Because of that, we used it as our Christmas card for 2018.

Here's the photo album of the whole event: Album by Leah Vonne Photography

Hubby and I make a point to participate in this kind of memorial when we can, for several reasons. One is that they offer important services, and we find it important to help support them. Another is that memorial services are a wonderful, touching, and wrenching way to remember Charlie completely openly and publicly. I find that no matter how I honor and remember him in daily life, this way of acknowledging him, hearing his name read out, and walking in his honor is helpful to us in knowing he will always be loved and remembered.

Yours,

Sarah

To subscribe, find the "subscribe by email" note in the left column and enter your email there. Posts will be emailed directly to you whenever I post them!

Resource list: Visit my spreadsheet at www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Pookie Adventure: Columbus and Ikea

(Topic: Travel, weighted bear)

Hi Friends!

Another Pookie Travelogue. Last fall we did a lot of traveling, and I take Pookie along and take pictures of him, so here's a fun photo story of our adventures in Columbus Ohio and visiting the Ikea store there!

First stop, hotel! This one had some fun "modern" style items. Here's Pookie in his meta snowsuit (he's a blue bear, in a suit that makes him look like a blue bear!!)

Because Ikea has furniture for kids, there's a lot more Pookie-sized stuff!!!

He suggested a tea stop at the café. I agreed.

Yum! From this angle you can see the building :D

This bed is close to the right size! I think it's a doll bed.

Pookie tried to convince me we needed a riding moose. I remain unconvinced...

"Please, have a seat."

Spaghetti night, anyone?

Pookie requested a cart ride, which I agreed to, because he's a heavy little guy!

"I'll handle the dishes."

Really? "not actual size"?? Shucks!

Pookie also thinks we should get him his own couch. I said he could buy it when he has his own money and his own apartment.

Yours,

Sarah

To subscribe, find the "subscribe by email" note in the left column and enter your email there. Posts will be emailed directly to you whenever I post them!

Resource list: Visit my spreadsheet at www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Adventure Pookie: Altoona PA

(Topic: Travel, weighted bears, blueberries, trains)

Pookie wanted to dress like Daddy, and do Work. Daddy asked him what he was reading on Mommy's tablet.

Blueberry futures, said Pookie. Research. Important Work. Also, yummy.

See, Daddy? Market shares. Sharing. Blueberry PIE. Important. Also, yummy.

Hi Friends!

As part of last fall's travels, most of which had to do with interviews, I got to take Pookie to lots of cool places, all over the Midwest (ok, really just Ohio, Western PA, Western NY, and southern MI. Still a lot of travel!). I didn't blog as we went along, but took lots of pictures... after this one, I believe there's still one more post that will be coming!

The main place I spent time in Altoona has to do with their history. Altoona was essentially founded as a base station for building the massive Horseshoe Curve. There is a great railroad museum downtown, and then you can see the curve if you drive a bit out of town, and there's a museum and a funicular railcar there, too, which are also suuuuper cool!

What's Horseshoe Curve? Basically, it's really hard to get trains through mountains, because they don't do hills well, or snow, but building tunnels or bridges is a ton of work. A railway route designer came up with a plan to use the curves of a valley to loop the tracks around, giving them enough length to slowly make the ascent that would otherwise be too steep and would have to be on an impossibly long bridge. So they built up and tore down edges of the valley, looped the tracks around in a big, gently slanted uphill, which allowed them to cross the PA mountains and connect to the "west" in a direction that no-one else was doing.

I had permission! :) This was truly a cool museum if you like the history of railroading.

Pookie in the lobby. Behind him is a model of iron being worked, to make locomotives, which was Altoona's bread and butter until the 30s and 40s, when steam went by the wayside and diesel took over.

The railroad museum has a lot of neat rolling stock. Nothing really makes Pookie look small than having him sit on something that big... he's smaller than the coupler!

Much of the roundhouse isn't open, but parts of it are - they do some restoration in that space.

Pookie got a new hat in the museum store, but this is the wrong end of the train for that hat!!!

After the museum, I wanted to see Horseshoe Curve, but hubby was done a bit early and I'd spent more time at the Railroader's Museum than I'd realized! Hubby was sweet and wonderful, though, and assented to a visit to the Curve :) He knows how to make his wife happy!

This is at the curviest part of the curve. You can see a train going on the tracks above the parking lot. There are three parallel lines of tracks running the curve. At one point there were 4, but the 3rd track got removed in the 80s.

Norfolk Southern is one of the main lines going through this particular route. I think the other might have been CSX. At the top of the viewing area, really close to the tracks, they have rail control radio on, and explanations, so that train watchers can figure out what train to expect, from whom, and sometimes what cargo, too.

Containers and trailers, pretty routine.

In the museum courtyard. Pookie is a pretty small cargo!

There's my little engineer!

The funicular tracks from the museum up to the viewing area.

Some stats for the train buffs reading this :)

Up the funicular!!!

There's also a locomotive on display in the viewing area. Snapped this picture just as a bunch of tankers went by!

More interesting stats and history, if you're interested :)

Some of the explanatory signage for novice train watchers.

Looking back around over the valley. The base of the curve is behind me, and you can see it cutting through the hills on the left (lower side) and right (higher side).

Panorama of the curve. I think you can click on the picture to see it larger.

Unintentionally, this trip was also timed perfectly, because my train-themed birthday party was a week or two after this visit! I definitely picked up some of my party favors in the museum store...

Yours,

Sarah

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