Pookie Visits Santa

(Topic: What I would be doing with Charlie)

Dear Friends,

This post is a bit late! Oops! I thought I'd posted this picture, but realized that I hadn't, and thus, hadn't shared the story.

This last Christmas I did something I don't ever remember doing before. I went to a mall Santa.

I've never ever really been comfortable around people who are dressed up. Wait! Before you start calling me a hypocrite since I reenact and hang around "dressed up" people all the time, let me explain. Santa and many other characters end up disguised rather than just costumed. For instance, I don't get nervous around actors wearing clothes specifically for a role. But as soon as the person inside is hard to distinguish, such as with false hair (like beards), strong make up (like mimes or clowns), or masks or mascot heads, then I have a tendency to run the other way and not look back. This is a long-standing fear of mine. Usually I'm pretty good at being aware of mascots and such, and just avoiding them, but on occasion I have still ended up having a panic attack.

This year, though, a friend (a fellow loss-mama) suggested that another friend and I accompany her to a mall Santa, for our bears to have a Santa visit. Surely, she thought, the Santa could hold all three bears in one sitting, which would allow us to split the fee three ways, and each have a lovely memento.

A huge reason to do this, was because this kind of experience is what other mommys get to have with their children. We, as loss-mamas, miss out on a lot of experiences that we would have had with our children, and our grief is not just missing the child we knew, but also mourning the loss of their future, and our future with them. So doing things in their memory, that we might have done with them, becomes meaningful and in someways cathartic. To be fair, this is my own experience, and others may perceive it differently...

So despite what I told you about my own fear of "dressed-up" people, I was willing to give this a shot. For Pookie. For Charlie.

When we all gathered at the mall, and then approached the Santa together, I let the other two mamas lead. However, my biggest fear was allayed when we approached the Santa area and I saw that our Santa was equipped most mercifully with his own beard, and thus, his full face was visible! I was immediately put at ease. He also seamed pretty calm and kind to some of the kids ahead of us, which was reassuring too.

In fact, he was amused by the three Molly Bears we placed on his lap, not realizing at first what they were. He looked wonderfully jolly, don't you think?

After the picture was taken, we explained to the photography and kid-wrangling crew, as well as the Santa, and all expressed their condolences. That was nice of them, but for me, the nicest part was seeing Pookie, tucked into Santa's lap next to Viviana Bear and peeking around Paul Bear to see the camera. It's delightfully candid, as I'm sure any picture of Viviana, Paul, and Charlie would have been.



Yours,

Sarah

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Resource list: Visit my spreadsheet at www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Halloween Musings

Dear Friends,

This year I was really excited for Halloween. I felt like it was the first year I could really "do" the holiday, and hand out candy (I don't remember why last year didn't work). So I'd bought some webs to put up on my front bushes, and some candy to hand out. I was really excited when the conference I was going to allowed me to be home in time to participate! But I came down with a bug that kept me in bed for quite a few days, so I missed out completely 😟
I was even going to get Pookie dressed up. He'd gotten two ravens at a raptor rehab center gift shop, and he was going to be Odin (from Norse mythology) who has two ravens (Huginn and Muninn), and an 8-legged horse.

Why was I so excited? Why was I interested in participating, in something that many people consider normal? And a friend of mine recently asked for my perspective on Halloween, too, especially as regards costuming. So I'll try to give you a little background before I talk about my own position, so you can understand where I am coming from.

I grew up in a family where we didn't really do Halloween at all. There were a number of reasons for this, if I understand right (though you'd have to ask my parents to be sure!). First of all, it is an "eve" celebration of a Christian holiday (All Saints Day). So as I understood it, the idea was to keep the emphasis on the holiday, and not on the festivities the night before, which are much more non-Christian (i.e., traditionally called "pagan"). Another reason (and I slightly agree with this one), is that it is a begging holiday, and also has an aspect of threat built in, even if not usually acted on anymore: "trick OR treat". And I don't know if this is a reason my parents used, but I find it at least noteworthy: The original idea of dressing up on the eve of All Saints was to frighten bad spirits away, so the costumes would be pretty ghastly and horrible.

Taking all that in mind, you can understand that, as a child, I did not go trick-or-treating, and in order to make sure no-one would mistake our house for one that would give out candy, we made sure our porch light was off, the curtains were closed, and we were not to "be around" in such a way that someone might think they could come to our door. This usually meant that we could look out upstairs windows, but not downstairs ones. Keep in mind, this is how I remember it, so there may be some aspects that weren't quite as I think they were!

An additional reason that Halloween often meant staying in is that I grew up in a college town, which usually has a fair amount of drunken costumed carousing downtown and around the frat and student housing areas of town. While it's reasonably safe, at least as an adult, to be downtown early in the evening, it becomes much more crazy as the night goes on, and I was kept away from the craziness when I was young. When I was in college, I did go downtown a few times, but never saw the point in staying late. In fact, I once had to explain to a friend that the 6 or 7 people dressed in "matching costumes" were, in fact, actual riot cops!

When I was in my late 20s, I dated a guy with 2 young children, and taking them trick-or-treating was an amazing experience. I did dress up (why not??? And I'd met the guy at a Civil War reenactment). It was amazing, though, not so much because following kids around is fun, but because it was eye-opening into this aspect of American culture I had not heretofore experienced. There was a neighborhood camaraderie that I had not seen any other time of the year.

I repeated the experience a few years later with a different man, one I'd fallen in love with and married! We went out with his Godson and the Godson's parents and cousins. And in this case, I got to see what it was like when the home was hosting a Halloween party, and what it is like to walk with friends and have several excited small ones dashing about. This year was hard for us in some ways, because it would have been our son's first Halloween, and there was even a child who shared his name. But overall, I enjoyed the experience.

So fast forward a few more years, and I wanted to be the one in the house, and get to see my current neighborhood on the one day when everyone is outside and friendly.


I mentioned earlier that a friend had asked how my costume opinions figure in to how I feel about Halloween. So to wrap up this post, I'll let you in on that, too.

Basically, there aren't many occasions when one can wear costumes. Masquerade balls aren't common, costume parties aren't super common, and reenactment events are great, but they aren't at home. So on one hand, I'm all for using it as the one day a year it's ok to wear nearly anything. On the other hand, there is still a part of me that feels that the costumes ought to be scary (not that I do this...). And another part of me feels that if I wear my historical clothing (which is really more clothing  than costume in how it's made and worn), I feel like people don't understand. They expect a trope (witch, ghost, zombie), or a marketed character (Elsa, paw patrol characters, Superman...). They don't expect "I'm representing what a lady of my age and approximate economic standing would have worn in...". So I'm really of two minds. But I'm starting to enjoy Halloween simply as a carnival holiday, separated by years and many shifts in tradition from its origins as a pagan take on a Christian holiday.

Most sincerely yours,
~ Sarah

Infant loss resource document: www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Pure, Unadulterated Nerdy Cuteness

Ok, so I'm completely geeky, but I got super excited when a friend gave me a hat that may or may not look similar to a character in a well known film...

Garment Data:
- Type: Baby hat, mittens, booties
- Date made: Unknown, plus January and February 2017
- Pattern: Made up
- Fabric/Materials: Acrylic yarn
- Trim: the same yarn
- Time to finish: a few days

Figuring out how to knit a 3-fingered glove/mitten flat. Not in the round because it's so small. That's a size 3 knitting needle! And since it's going to be folded in half, there are going to be 6 points... LOTS of ends to weave in.

Here's the original hat plus the brim I added to keep the edge from rolling up. I got the closest green I could find... it's less noticeable in real life. And the first completed mitten! I'm not worried about it fitting over fingers, since I'm planning to use this with a baby small enough to mostly still keep their hands balled up.

Here's where it started to really get weird. I wanted the booties to also have 3 toes, ideally with the center toe bigger than the outside two. But, I had no pattern, and have rarely made booties. SO I'm making it up as I go! I started with the cuff, then bound off a few stitches to make the wrap-around part. Then I had to cast on, to get the length of the toe box, but then split again to make the toes... and then I realized this was just the sole.

So I had to invent the top of the bootie! And this is what it looks like.

Here's the whole completed set, minus the ties on the booties, which are in the next pictures. Note that on the right mitten, I actually matched the stitches but somehow had a tighter gauge than the first mitten, so I had to add a little length to the cuff...

The bootie ties, which consist of a loop coming from the front...

And two ties coming around from the back. I'm pleased with how they came out!

Most sincerely yours,
~ Sarah

Winter Hats, part II --- Jayne's Hat

Ladies and Gents,
As promised, part II of the Wooly-Hats Spectacular Spectacular!
I'm trying the pictures in a larger size, let's see how this looks!
In this case, I made a Jayne-inspired hat, copying a hat that the character Jayne Cobb got from his mom on the TV sci-fi/western Firefly.
The cool thing about his hat is that it was flame- (firefly-?) colored, and ended in a fun pom-pom on top!
I printed out pictures of the original hat

for inspiration, and also found (and disregarded) other people's versions of Jayne-inspired hats. I wanted to figure it out for myself!
The gentleman who requested the hat is my friend Dylan, who has an Etsy shop, for bowties! As he put it, "the gist of it is that I recycle silk and wool neck ties into fancy bow ties." Check it out HERE!

Garment Data:
- Type: Winter hat, lined with fleece
- Date made: 2008? or so
- Pattern: none - self drafted
- Fabric/Materials: Acrylic yarn, or acrylic/wool blend, I don't remember
- Trim: one pom-pom, made of self-yarn, plus earflaps and ties
- Time to finish: Don't remember! Maybe a few days?

Note the coloration is the same as the inspiration. The hat was knit in the round from the brim up.

Regularly spaced decreases were used at the top to taper, usually by K2Tog if I recall correctly.

Sideview. The beautiful model is Dylan, the owner of the fine hat! Stunning, don'tcha think?

Fleece lining was sewn separately, then whip-stitched into place. Earflaps were knitted separately and custom placed. Pom-Pom added after lining, I believe.

More hats to come!!! Look for a fun math-based hat and scarf set next, plus a pretty-in-pink hat and mitten set with a matching sweater-in-progress. I still need to photograph all of these...

Most sincerely yours,
~ Sarah

1920s dress!

Ladies and Gents,
I was recently asked by a friend to help make them a 1920s costume for a one-time event. I agreed - this could be a fun challenge!
It's not an era I know much about, so I threw myself headlong into research.
One of the notable things I found out is that skirts were not as short as I would have thought! Towards the beginning of the 20s they were quite long - midcalf or longer, sometimes - and only got shorter (though still below the knee usually) by the end of the decade.
The costume I made is not a reproduction. It is in the style of or inspired by and is intended to give the observer the impression of the 20s - but I make no claims to absolute accuracy!

Garment Data:
- Type: Dress, 1920s style, slightly flapper-esque and possibly less-fancy evening wear
- Date made: December 2013
- Pattern: None.
- Fabric/Materials: I used a dress found at Goodwill that had approximately the right shape, including a lace overlay, and went from there.
- Trim: Fringe, ribbon, feathers
- Time to finish: 2 days or so

The original, slightly mother-of-the-bride (or something) dress. Very poly. Has a lace overlay and ghastly puffed sleeves.

So I took the sleeves off! This also gives it a more 20s line.

Started to pin on some fringe I got.

Various trims and accessories draped on the dress prior to assembling it all. Note that the fringe is partly pinned. There is also a band of ribbon, some green trim (that I did not end up using) and a green hat.

I went for two rounds of trim. This is for two reasons:
1: From the pictures I looked at, trim, flounces, or lace was often layered in at least 2 or 3 tiers
2: That's how much fringe I had! :)

Close up of the two-layer fringe. It is hand whipped onto the lace overlay, using the lace design as a guide to keep it level.

Some other props/accessories I gathered. Layers of pearls were sometimes worn, feathers and plumes seemed to be popular, and all the fancy pictures have furs in them!

I've now added some trim right above the fringe.

I thought about adding a pleated sash, but decided it would be a) too heavy, b) too much for the dress as it now looks!

Full outfit, including headband.

Close up of the finished trim!

Headband (early 20s, but too cool to pass up!)

Hat, for the cloche look, for the more "outside" look.

Completed outfit, with hat and fur coat! Really the coat should be as long as the dress or longer, but this one is what I had! I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. :)

 
And I just found out that there will be a 2nd opportunity for the dress to be worn! Hurrah!

Most sincerely yours,
~ Sarah

County Fair

Dear Readers,

This year, for the first time, I entered some items in the fair!

SPOILER ALERT:

I didn't win.


That's ok, though! Most of the pieces I submitted, I could tell you exactly what's wrong with it. The frustration is that the judging criteria are not publicized, so there is no way of knowing for sure why your piece placed or didn't.

I only was disappointed about one of my pieces - as I said, the rest were more of a lark.

For your perusal, the pieces in situ:

Robbie's doll. Actually, I don't know if the doll's been named! I should ask the little boy I gave it to.

A close-up. I embroidered the stars and moon on the belly and on the hood before I sewed the guy together. Entirely hand-sewn. He was made from a kit, but the pieces were not pre-cut and there was no pattern for the embroidery. The face is also hand embroidered.

The purple one in the middle!

A close-up. This is a pillowcase (with ties on the bottom using standard 1/4" white twill tape). The white diamond is stitched onto the front side. The back is a green leafy print. The embroidery is done on white muslin using DMC embroidery floss. The top and L/R corners each contain three small hand-done eyelets. The embroidery is done using satin, stem, and running stitches, while the blackberries themselves are done using french knots. No pattern was used, this was my own design based on a photograph.

This is a jacket and hat combo I made for my littlest sister several years back.

Up close again! These are both made of what I believe would be called a brocade - they are upholstery fabrics and thus nothing special (probably all sorts of gross modern fibers). The hat is lined with a light blue/white striped cotton. The pattern for the hat consists of four quadrants plus a brim/band. The jacket is all one piece, with the only seams being the underside of the arm leading across the front of the chest. The rest of it just folds together! This is based on an early medieval pattern I was shown in my history of fashion class. The coat is lined with a slightly coarse green fabric, and "piped" with red bias tape sewn with a fancy machine stitch in green thread (maybe it was just a zigzag? I can't remember, and I don't have the garment in front of me right now). The jacket is actually also entirely reversible. It fits a four- or five-year-old.

Child's nightgown (age 10?) and my housecoat (house dress? coat dress?).

Made of wool or a wool blend. Buttons down the front. Cuffs, collar, and accents are all crocheted. The collar and cuffs (but especially the collar!) are actually a physical representation of a mathematical hyperbolic plane. The yarn is acrylic, fall-tone variegated.

The nightgown. Based on another nightgown my sister used to have but had outgrown. Made of pink striped cotton flannel. Has small lace around the yoke. Sleeves gathered onto elastic just up from the edge to create a ruffle. Buttons down the back of the yoke.

1820's inspired dress. Made of a non-natural crushed velvet with gold sparkles. High waist. Sleeves are small tubes, so they fall similarly to cap sleeves. Zipper down the back.

And my standby medieval gown! This is a particolored cotehardie with undergown. Buttons down the front, tippets on the sleeves, buttons up to the elbow on the undergown. Both undergown and gown made of a linen & rayon blend (bleaugh).

I had a great time at the fair, too! I danced with my clogging group, and really enjoyed the Ferris Wheel!

Most sincerely yours,
~ Sarah

Childhood attempts

At age seven, I decided to run away to sea


At age ten I tried to join the Merry Men and got sidetracked by malevolent elves.


At age 15 I joined Robert of Locksley and his band of Merry Men

Most sincerely yours,

~Anne