Pocket and Bustles

Hi Friends!!!

As you may have seen or heard, I recently went to a ball, so there will be several posts related to that coming up.

As I was preparing for the ball, I realized that since a friend was making my ball gown (Sarah Crow, The Preacher Wife's Gowns and Carr Antiquities (Facebook)), it was my job to make sure I had all the under layers and "shape wear" I needed!

My primary project was a chemise, which functions like an undershirt, basically, and has enough sleeve to keep your underarm from affecting the pretty dress, and gives you a layer against your skin before you put on other things. I didn't get any in progress pictures on that one except for the picture of pleats at the top of the post! To me, pleats are the simplest and quickest version of gathering a wide amount of fabric into a small space. Some people prefer gauging/cartridge pleating, or prefer gathering. Here's the thing, though: as long as the pleats don't have to be perfect-perfect, and can be large, I find I can spend much less time handling the fabric.

The lady on the right is wearing a chemise; the lady on the left has a chemise, drawers over that, and then her corset.

I also threw together some drawers, which are sometimes referred to as "bloomers" by non-costumers. Here's the difference: drawers are "undies", generally were not sewn along the crotch so they didn't make you do as many gymnastics while in a hoop dress (and were a kind of automatic seat liner...!), and would not show at all, since they often came to just below the knee. Bloomers, however, nicknamed after Amelia Bloomer (but actually more widely worn and championed by Elizabeth Cady Stanton), were outerwear. They were a form of early pants for women, but still involved a lot of fabric for decency, and were only used in certain situations (such as bicycling and sports) or by certain women (clothing reformers, primarily. And please don't call either drawers or Bloomers "pantaloons"! I believe that is a later term, and, in any case, is often referring to something seen peeking out below skirts in vaguely historic-esque westerns filmed in the 1960s...

Amelia Bloomer

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Then once the essentials were taken care of, it was time to work on some invisible accessories. By invisible I simply mean that when fully attired for the ball, you might be able to guess these were there, but you'd never see them. When wearing hoops, they ought to balance around your body a bit like a bell, and a person's body shape affects how they hang and how well they provide what is called "back thrust" (a bit more hoop behind than in front), which became more and more desired as the 1860s progressed (and eventually developed into the bustle of the 1880s and 1890s).

However, I have a more prominent belly and less going on behind, so my hoops tend to sway forward rather than back. Luckily, I'm not the first person in the last 150 years to have this problem! As a solution, placing a well-stuffed pad where there isn't any natural padding will help the bulk of the skirts stay in the back.
Based on Elizabeth Stewart Clark's pattern in The Dressmaker's Guide, I came up with these: the left shape is what the pattern gave me, the right shape was me thinking that the first one couldn't possibly be big enough and must be too wide... Guess who was right? (hint... not me...). The one on the left works beautifully, and gives my skirts a lovely shape. I haven't used the one on the right, but I'll keep it for now and see if I find a use for it.
They are made with cotton, cut as 2 crescents, sewn together with wrong sides facing (leave a gap), add the waistband, THEN stuff (if you are using a machine. If by hand, stuffing first gives the advantage of being able to toy with size, fluff level, and placement, but if you try to add the waistband next by machine, you'll be cursing the day you were born because there just isn't enough room for the foot to get to where you want the seam. I may have figured this out the hard way.). The waistbands close with buttons.

One of my sisters asked why I was using such a fancy fabric. The answer is twofold: I had it on hand with no plans for it, and it's pretty! It is not a reproduction fabric, and in fact is not even one I bought with this era in mind. It is, however, close-ish, AND, more importantly, not visible from the outside! I try not to make non-period concessions like this, but... SO PRETTY!!!

The second thing I made with the ball in mind is a pocket, which gets tied (or buttoned) around the waist beneath the skirt. Some skirts had pockets sewn in, but some didn't. However, most had a closure or a slit placed in such a way that you could reach through and into this style of pocket. I had one before, but it wasn't pretty (!) and was so shallow I was worried I'd constantly loose things. This one is almost too deep! I love it though!

It is made with cotton. The front is 2 pieces that add up to wider than the back, so I could make a seam down the center with a slit in the upper portion as the access. The waistband (which could be narrower) is long so I can tie it on, but you could do buttons if you wanted to.

See you soon with 2 posts about new dresses! Lots of posts in the works, guys!

Yours,

Sarah

To subscribe, find the "subscribe by email" note in the left column and enter your email there. Posts will be emailed directly to you whenever I post them!

Resource list: Visit my spreadsheet at www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Walking for Charlie

Dear Friends,

Once again, I'm going to post about the walk we have coming up on June 24th CORRECTION, it is the 23RD. It is a sponsored walk, kind of like a Crop Walk or a March of Dimes: We walk, you sponsor us, the money becomes a donation to the cause. Details will be at the end of this post.

In this case, the cause is the organization named "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" (NILMDTS), through which professional photographers volunteer their time to take pictures (usually at the hospital) for families going through infant loss (after 22 weeks gestation).

We had a photographer named Jackie who came to take pictures of Charlie for us, some of the only photos we have of him. This one is a favorite of mine:

Isn't he darling? I'm totally in love with his nose and leeeetle chin!

From their website: "Remembrance photography is a very important step in the healing process. Photographs are one of the most precious and tangible mementos that a parent can have, showing the love and bond that was given and shared with their baby. These portraits will last for generations, and will honor and remember a tiny life that is forever loved and cherished."
 
They generally do photos in black and white, partly because they look more "classic", and partly because it means that the babies generally look more like any baby, since sometimes a prenatal death involves some discolorations or other things that might distract from the beauty of the child.

The organization is approximately nation-wide, but there are gaps in the coverage because they depend on volunteer photographers. If you are interested in becoming a photographer with them, please get in touch with them via their website or their Facebook page! They would love to have you.

Walk Information:

In addition to supporting NILMDTS, there are emotional benefits for us as participants: we get to think of Charlie fondly, we get to see other families who have been through it and understand, and at the end there's a butterfly release!

If you would like to join to walk with us, you are certainly welcome, or if you would like to sponsor us. We are Team Tiger! Surprised?!!? Here's the direct link to our team page:
https://raceroster.com/events/2018/15365/now-i-lay-me-down-to-sleep-2018-remembrance-walk-oh/pledge/team?id=54
On this page, you can join our team, or pledge to support us, and read a brief summary of our story.

Thank you so much!

💖💖💖IN MEMORY OF CHARLES PEACOCK WARNER, OUR LITTLE TIGER CUB🐅🐅🐅

Yours,

Sarah

To subscribe, find the "subscribe by email" note in the left column and enter your email there. Posts will be emailed directly to you whenever I post them!

Resource list: Visit my spreadsheet at www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Triggersville

(Posted next morning, due to upload issues. I will add the pictures this morning)(Edited on 2/23 evening to add photos.)

Dear friends,

Right now my eyes are burning because I've been crying, and it wouldn't take much to get me going again. Today has actually been a pretty good day, but right at the end there have been several Triggers (things that make me think of Charlie and make me emotional).

The first was seeing a picture of these rosette mourning cockades a dear friend made for us, to wear while reenacting, in remembrance of our little one. I'm so glad she was willing to make them, and wearing them felt so right. Today she put a picture of them in her "I made this" album on Facebook. This is totally fine! It just brings thoughts of Charles more to the surface.

When the mail came, we got a personalized thing we'd ordered for Charlie for his birthday in June. It came out beautifully, and I can't wait to show you!

🐅

This evening I watched a video called "A Sloth Named Velcro", which was basically a nature documentary, but included several cute baby sloths, too.

I also reposted something on Facebook, which spurred a conversation about how I'm a mama despite my child never having lived beyond pregnancy. It was a good conversation, but touching, and it then brought up memories of the Mother's Day just before Charlie was born. I hadn't thought of myself as a true mother yet - maybe half, but not wholly - and I really wish I had.

And at this point I wept.

The images in my mind were the movements of the baby sloths, and the regret of not taking a Mother's Day carnation 2 years ago, and the loss and love for Charlie... It was overwhelming.

I'm hugging my Pookie as I write this. He's a very good bear, a very nice one to have around.

I'm dedicating this post to all the mamas who feel like they aren't mamas. You are.

And to all the loss mamas who have lots of smooth days and then get surprised by a row of triggers. It happens... It's ok. I'm finding something that helps me remember Charlie but feel less sad (Pookie), and each minute comes a little easier. And I'll be back on my feet in a bit, and brush my teeth and settle in for the night, and I'll be ok. Crying helps... It's a sign I love and miss my boy, and reminds me that I love and miss him even when I'm not crying, and that's ok too.

💕

Being a Loss-Mama has a lot going on. Who knew that learning about 6 species of nearly cold-blooded upside-down mammal would be what got me today?

Love
Sarah

Valentine's Day Baby Blanket

Valentine's Day Baby Blanket

For donation

Last week, I finished this baby blanket I've been working on since Christmas. Planning ahead, I knew that Valentine's Day is the next holiday that many people do, so I picked out a red and a white acrylic yarn that was soft and pretty.

The pattern is simple (and I made it up as I went along). Knit for a while in stockinette, make a small stripe of the other color, make a section that is the opposite of stockinette, with all the purl bumps toward the front, go back to stockinette, and right before the half way, do a stripe of the opposite color. Then, switch main colors and finish by reversing all of that! I also made the hearts by purling those sections in a heart shape, then stitching around the edge as a surface embroidery so the hearts would stand out. Then I crocheted a picot edging around it, using opposite colors.

Here it is being shown at my knitting group. Then it will be taken to the NICU for the little ones who need some extra warm snuggles.

Yours, Sarah


To subscribe, find the "subscribe by email" note in the left column and enter your email there. Posts will be emailed directly to you whenever I post them!

 Resource list: www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Color-Pooled Scarf

 

Color-Pooled Scarf

Hi Friends!

I have completed another project that has been in my bag for a while now. It is a scarf, warm and pretty!

Here it is while still under construction:

The next picture is the center, which is the first part I did. This is the part with "Planned Color Pooling", which is when I take the variegated yarn, which has color sections of about 12" each, and as I crocheted, I made sure that I paid attention to 2 rows before, and made sure the colors were offset by 1 stitch. When I paid attention like this, the colors stacked themselves into an argyle!

Once I had that section fairly far along, I got tired of the concentration it took to keep everything lined up. So I decided to switch approaches. I tried putting white next, but the yarn I had was thick and looked very strange. But I found a nice solid blue that matched, and split my ball in half, and used half on the still going end to make a stripe, and saved the other half of the ball. Then I took the remainder of the variegated and split it into two balls as well. Using the first half, I just continued the single crochet/slip stitch pattern I'd been doing, but didn't care about matching up the colors at all. Here's what happened:

It formed a sort of argyle on its own! I was pretty happy with this, so I turned my work to the other end of my middle section, added the plain blue, and then pulled out the last ball of my variegated. I was hoping it would do an argyle too, to match, but no such luck. At first, it formed a column of dark blue down the center, which looked really weird next to the other sections (I didn't get a picture of that). So I ripped it out, and started over.

With variegated yarns, the width of what you are doing, the stitch you use, the tension of your stitching, and how much you pay attention, as well as how exact the lengths of color are in the yarn, all affect how the colors come together in a completed piece.

When I re-did it, this is what I got:

While this is not an argyle to match the middle an the other end, it does at least have the colors spread around, and I'm happy with how it looks. Here's the completed scarf, marked with which order I worked the sections in, and in what direction:

Thanks for reading!! I'll be posting again on St. Valentine's Day, so keep an eye out for that!!! :)

Yours,

Sarah

To subscribe, find the "subscribe by email" note in the left column and enter your email there. Posts will be emailed directly to you whenever I post them!

Resource list: Visit my spreadsheet at www.tinyurl.com/infantloss

Today I'm Sad

Dear Friends,

Today I was lucky that hubby was off work, so after we ran some errands, we made time to go visit our little boy! I don't think either of us has made it to the cemetery since before Christmas. It certainly feels like ages and ages. I was so excited to go! We took his Christmas present (an ornament, which we did last year too and plan to do every year), and opened it there for him to "show" him. To us, this is an important way of including him as our child in our holiday traditions.

We both stood there in the snow, trying to make it quick so we didn't freeze, but we also tried not to feel rushed. We talked like you do to a toddler, simply, and as though he were standing before us. He is always with us in our hearts, and we personally also believe in Heaven (without spending time here on theological details), and we have pictures and other things around the house that remind us of him (including Pookie...), but Charlie is physically buried in that cemetery. In some way, I feel close to him there in a way I do not in other places.

After saying goodbye, usually several times, which for me includes touching his grave marker, we head to the car and point our selves toward home.

This is the hardest part.

Every time I leave the cemetery, I have to leave my son behind again. It is not as hard as the day I had to hand over his body to a nurse. It is not as hard as saying goodbye to HIM and to his future and all our hopes and dreams for him. But leaving the cemetery is still leaving him behind, while I go to the life I have at home, where he isn't.

I often cry in the car, though less hard and less often than I used to. Not that I miss him less, just that I miss him differently, and am in a different place in my soul. Today it meant that while I drove home, I talked to hubby about how much I missed Charlie, and I had tears in my eyes, and a lump in my throat, and I felt a hard place of tears sitting in my chest.

By the time I got home, he was still on my mind, but my heart had calmed down. I miss my little boy so much. Being sad is like a wave, or a sea, going up or down, or like something that you are carrying that is heavy, but sometimes you are fresh and it's not a burden, and sometimes you are tired, and it is hard to carry. But everything in that package is too special to leave behind.

Thank you for being with me today while I remember my beautiful little boy.

Yours, Sarah


To subscribe, find the "subscribe by email" note in the left column and enter your email there. Posts will be emailed directly to you whenever I post them!

Resource list: www.tinyurl.com/infantloss